Hello, again

Tap Tap.... is anyone there?

It is a truth universally acknowledged that as soon as one makes a dedicated writing goal, life will step in to challenge that goal. At least that is often how it seems.

It’s been nearly a year since I last posted here. My drafts folder is still filled with half-baked posts and ideas, things that no longer feel relevant or worth sharing. Last February, I had grand aspirations of posting regularly. I was diving into a draft of a norse inspired fantasy novel. My creative life was on the upswing.

But then we decided to move.

Moving is always stressful, but we, for reasons that were practical, decided to make it the most prolonged move we possibly could.

In March, we made the decision to move. We packed in April, cleaned the apartment in May. My husband moved eight hours away at the end of May and I followed at the beginning of August. And in November, for the first time in about six months we finally moved into our new place.

There were hundreds of lovely little joys that came from that season. I spent lots of time with my parents, with my sister and her husband and my sweet little niece and nephew. My husband and I remembered that we are a great team — even when we are living apart. And our patience paid off. We are now renting the most delightful little house with a garden and a yard for my pups, just a short walk from the ocean. A bit of earth, a bit of sand, just for us.

I did not write. Oh I dabbled here and there. Worked on scraps of scenes and ideas. But writing takes energy and for six months straight, I had none. What little energy I had went towards decisions and logistics and learning new jobs and never really being alone. It went towards navigating the grief and anger I feel at what is going on in our country. (Which, for the record DEFUND ICE. Learn more about what is going on right now and how you can support immigrant families here and here.) It went towards just making it through the day. It went towards believing that all of this upheaval would be worth it in the end, even when the end was nowhere in sight.

Therapy helped. Medication was honestly a godsend (I will be dedicating my first book to Wellbutrin, thank you very much). I cut my own bangs and it somehow made me feel a bit less afraid to try things. And now, it’s February again and I am starting to feel like myself. Actually, an even better version of myself.

I’m not sure exactly what I want to do with this space, but that’s ok. Honestly, the curation part of social media tends to be what stresses me out. The pressure to have a plan, an aesthetic… So we’ll see what happens.

I plan on writing a lot this year. By necessity, my focus has been elsewhere, but this year I’m making space for it to swing back to stories. I’ll be diving into revisions soon, and my mind is simmering with various story ideas waiting to be made real. I’ll update here as I can, sharing the things that are inspiring me, moving me, teaching me.

In the meantime, let’s start this month off with a list of just a few of the books, music, and shows that made my last year brighter.

• The Strange the Dreamer Duology by Laini Taylor - I know… I’m probably one of the last people in the YA lit space to read this duology but oh my word, these books are everything to me. Everything I want to read, everything I want to write. They are lush and whimsical and heartbreaking and I already want to reread them. I never finished the Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy, so those books are going towards the top of my TBR.

• The Everlasting by Alix E. Harrow - When I found out Alix E. Harrow was taking her masterpiece of short story (The Six Deaths of the Saint) and turning the concept into a full length novel I was SAT. The Ten Thousand Doors of January is one of my favorite books of all time and I just knew she would be able to pull off this complicated premise. I was right. The Everlasting is gorgeously written and made me weep, but in a good way. Also special mention to one of her other short stories, The Knight and the Butcherbird. Superb, honestly.

• Lizzy McAlpine - My writing playlists are FILLED with her songs. Her voice is gorgeous, her writing is lovely, and she makes the most interesting melodic choices in her songs. When you expect her to zig, she zags. Her songs feel like a poem. Current favorite songs are Doomsday, March, Vortex, I Knew, Hate to Be Lame, and Reckless Driving.

• Ego Death at A Bachelorette Party by Hayley Williams - I love Paramore and I LOVE Hayley’s solo work. Like Lizzy, I’m never quite sure what melody or rhythm or topic she is going to tackle next. This album is equal parts fun, driving with the windows down vibes and contemplative - a lovely companion no matter where life is hitting you.

• My Lady Jane - It took me forever to finally watch this show and now I simply must read the book! Emily Bader and Edward Bluemel were just a delight. The chemistry, the banter, the humor. Truly a blast.

• The Wheel of Time Season 3 - The best season YET. When I tell you, I am DEVASTATED that this show was canceled. I cried nearly every episode, the writing was excellent. But, because I loved the characters so much, I have started reading the books and I’m enjoying it so far!

• Arcane - I have already written about Arcane here, but I LOVE THIS SHOW. From the character arcs to the art itself, it is easily one of my all time favorite shows.

If you’ve stuck around this long, thank you. Here’s to February and beginning again.

Talk to you soon,

Emily